The End of Chapter I...

So it’s the end of the USA & Mexico leg so I thought I’d tie it all up. After Acapulco we got to Mexico City, we were only there for 2 days so not a lot happened. We looked around the Anthropology museum which was just more Mayan shit; I’ve only just noticed that at no time, in 3 weeks in Mexico and walking round numerous Mayan based places, did anybody mention the end of the world 2012 thing. You would think that that would be a big tourist attraction, maybe that’s what all the masks were about? We also just walked around the town, and saw a yellow monument.

Aside from that MC was pretty ordinary, except there was an Irish bar we went to where everyone was signing along to a band playing Cosmic Girl by Jameroquai (no idea how you spell that)

Here is a map to show you where we went, covering 2500 miles.

Following Mexico we headed to LA for a 2 night stay over before heading to Sydney. This flight, Mexico City to LA was provided by Alaska Airlines and was populated by mostly Chinese passengers. That sentence seems odd to me but it’s true. Oh and they definitely weren’t Eskimos heading to Alaska, they were completely Chinese.

To Summarise Los Angeles I will no present our stay in statistics.

Number of haircuts: 1. I went to a barber shop and it was just like a film, where they were watching Sons of Anarchy and talking about ridiculous subjects like one guy had “a terabyte for sale, Dawg” because he said “my homeboy hooked me up and fixed by broken terabyte so now I got two terabyte but I only need one terabyte, Dawg”. One well-dressed chap was caught eating a salad, when quizzed he claimed he was going vegan to lose weight. Moments later a delivery man turned up with chilli cheese fries for him, he said they were vegan chilli cheese fries.

Number of Andy Ball look-a-likes from behind: 1 uncanny chap. 

 

Number of racist taxi drivers: 1. We couldn’t have landed a funnier first cab to take us to our hotel. He was an Iranian guy who looked and sounded almost exactly John Toturo in Mr Deeds (look it up). En Route he got into a monologue explain all the areas we were driving through. The opinions quoted below are those of the taxi driver and not those of the author of this blog.
 
“this is Santa Monica, its is full of gays and lesbians, so if your going out in the evening stay away from here, I am Iranian and we not used to this. When I first arrive I pick up this girl and I say, you are beautiful you need a man, she say I am lesbian and I say Whaaaaa? Get out of my cab.”

“this area of LA is so so… for gays”

“In LA there lots of blacks, I’m not racist but every time you get black they make problem. You drive slow you drive fast, either way they be making trouble, it’s difficult for me”

Classic

Number of ridiculous conversations with Jack: Various, here’s an example.

Number of tramps: stopped counting once we reached 100. I like to think they are all failed actors just looking for a big break, not getting it, and resigning themselves to life without shoes and clipping toe nails.

Number of lifts with strangers: 1, Jack got a lift back to the hotel from two ladies names Shakira and LaQueesha. I’m still laughing at this.

Number of lush cars spotted: loads and loads.

Number of celebrities spotted: 1. Matthew Perry (Chandler off of Friends)

Number films watched on the LA to Sydney flight. 5. Katy Perry: Part of Me is truly harrowing. The plane had the stupid ability to chat to other passengers on some internal text system, pointless
 

Anyway we got to Sydney, but missed Sunday. The flight took off at 10pm on Saturday, we landed at 6am Monday; mind boggling!

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