Kuala Lushpur...

We headed from Singapore to Kuala Lumpur and had a bus booked to leave from outside a Hawker Center. Hawker Centers are, according to Tripadvisor, the best things to see in Singapore and they are basically food courts. We ate in a restaurant in there and had some Chicken Thai Curry; I say chicken and by chicken I mean pieces meat from parts of a chicken I didn’t know existed and are unfathomable and completely uneatable. Within the curry there was also approximately 14 limes and two fistfuls of chicken pubes. Not our best meal.

We got the bus and it was lush. You know on normal coaches there are 4 seats in a row, well this had 3! That mean they were super wide and even had massagers in them, lovely stuff. They even put on one of my top 10 favorite films; The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift. It was playing in English but for some reason I still can’t work out it had English subtitles, unfortunately those subtitles didn’t exactly match up with what was being said. For example when in the film the protagonist says “wow, you can read the brochure” the subtitle said “woah, you read book show?” and every time someone said “ride” (which was extremely frequent, once you noticed) it displayed “rack”.

Our hostel in Kuala Lumpur was ridiculous, but in a totally awesome way. It was a converted mansion called “Reggae Mansion” and our room had flat screen TV with a USB port so I could plug in my hard drive and watch Inbetweeners loads. It had a roof top bar where you could enjoy £2 vodka cokes, shisha and see the Sky Tower and Twin Towers, which are now called the Petronas Towers (gay)

We went to see the towers in the day time, and they are frapping massive, but also look spectacular.

 

We headed in with the intention of getting to the top, no chance. We had to go there at like 8am to queue up to get a ticket to go up 3 days later, I said “not worth it”. In the tower we found a cinema and watched Skyfall, however I guess because of the muslimness of Malaysia they cut out the sex scenes and what really took me by surprise was how the locals were in stitches at all the jokes and inuendo.

Skyfall, hmmm… I really like bond. I really like Home Alone. Do I like them together? Not much. Where were all the birds, glamour, beautiful locations and all round bondness? Bleurgh. Ok though I guess. And quite cool to watch it in the towers.

We also went on a mini tour to see monkeys and fireflies. Fireflies are nice but need to be renamed for sure. Christmas tree light flies is most accurate but less catchy. The monkeys were fun.

We got there and there wasome geezer hitting them on the head with a squeeky crocdile toy as a crowd control device, seemed odd.

I had brought a bag of nuts and the monkeys went nuts; climbing up us and pissing on my leg. Well not sure it was piss but one sat on my leg for a while but then when it got up I had a wet patch. I really really hope it was just a bit of piss; not poo, spunk or monkey period.

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