Cancun in 600 words...

How can I summarise Cancun in a short blog post enough so you get a feel for the place? Well imagine by day lying on white white beaches or by the pool with the occasional movement into the pool or blue blue sea to cool off. NB - I am please to announce that Jack has upgraded from "whiter than sand" to "sand", fingers crossed he can make it to "Marie-Rose Sauce"

By night its an insane chaos of pounding music and bright lights mixed with ridiculous numbers of locals accosting you with offers for taxis, club tickets, general tat, food, drugs, prostitutes and a cuddle from a tiger cub.

Our hotel was lovely, for just £50 per night we got all the feel of a holiday resort (before moving onto the “real” Mexico) combined with perfect locality to night life.

For example here was the view from the room

And here is the view from the club

 

On our first outing into the Cancun nightscene we attended a club called Mandala based off the fact that it was all you can drink for 600 pesos, that’s about £15; so long as you never sat down or leant on a table.

Do you know the feeling when you go to a buffet and eat really quickly because subconsciously or something you think the food may run out or the buffet is going to get shut down? That’s the feeling we had at this place; so it didn’t take long for Jack get on the spacers between every single drink. He did this to the point that he felt ill on water and had to go walk it off in our hotel just round the corner.

Meanwhile

Though after a while I started to wonder what happened to that weirdo?

Anyway he eventually returned after breaking the toilet, and emptying it into the bath with complimentary tumblers.

Quick game of where's T Bird:

Next to tick off the list of “Really Fun Stuff To Do” was Jet Skiing, those Jet Skis got so rinsed… until I sat on my own bollock at 72kph. For those of you who dont know, sitting on a bollock is painful; sitting on a bollock at high speed is very painful. Below is an artist’s impression of what took place:

Later that night we went out again, this time we went all rich and forked out £30 each which meant we could sit down, except sitting down stuck out like sore thump because everyone was dancing on tables and chairs (except for Jack obviously). Sweet Club was a more party atmosphere with mediocre “Wet Body” contests, all you can drink bottles of vodka and Megatron off of Transformers just knocking around.

There were also two separate queues in the gents; one for people using the cubicals to take a shit (short queue) and one for people using to cubicals to take drugs (long queue). I also witnessed some poor chap get 1 punch KO'd but some hard as fuck Mexican lad, you will be pleased to know that when he came to he was immediately ejected that the Mexican hardnut just continued drinking at the scene of the incident.

All in all we left Cancun feeling rested and relaxed whilst soaking the much advertised “georgie shore” antics. We have headed of to the town of Merida now, its very basic but the hostel is nice for £15 and has internet so cant complain. Tomorrow we are off to look at flamingos, natures gay animal – why are they pink?, algae or something? Answers in a comment please

Hasta luego x