Its taken just 2 weeks but I am officially on a “Wobbler” as I write this
post throughout what is turned out to be a completely moronic journey. I was sat
in some dull dank airport terminal in Jacksonville FL on our way to Cancun
thinking of ways to help you understand the emotion oozing from my face and the
series of events leading to this frequent state of mind and subsequent outburst.
To give it some context let me take you back a few nights ago…
Jack and I are enjoying the easy life, beaches, pools, sun, crazy golf, ribs to name but a few, we even went out in Fruitvillle for 2nd time and had
a bliss filled night. We ended up at a place called “The Gator Club”, described
to us as having a weird vibe as it used to be a brothel; I thought that sounds
fairly fun. Well it was really just a bar. That
shut at 2am and we were the last to leave and asked for advice on where to go
next. “Get a taxi 50 miles north to Tampa and go to the Hard Rock Casino,
that’s open til 6am”. We didn’t take that advice; instead we thought we could
walk around and find somewhere decent. After an hour there were no more cars,
no more people, no more food; it was a ghost town.
So we decided to get up to mischief
including hugging statues, climbing flagpoles, getting inside fountains and
kicking over bins – we were so cool.
In the end two street cleaners called us a cab giving the firm the
instructions “we got two British guys here… they don’t know where they’re
going”.
American Airlines are massive bunch of idiots, I hope they go busto, hard!
They have ruined the high spirits formed by days and nights of jokes. Now when
you book flights and they have connections, like Jacksonville to Cancun via
Miami; you would think it so simple to just skip the Jax to Miami leg and go
Miami to Cancun with absolute no issue if you wanted? Incorrect, bang wrong,
completely stupid thinking douchebag! If you want to do that it would probably
make the most sense to cancel both flights and rebook at $190pp – obviously
that is ridiculous to we have just driven from Sarasota to Jacksonville. That’s
five hours of unnecessary driving to take an unnecessary flight to a place that
is 3.5 hours from Sarasota.
So anyway we had to drive, leaving at 1:30am, here’s a picture of me at 5am
indicating my elation and my overall unwellness following contracting a cold in
a 32 degree climate along with conjunctivitis; followed by a picture of me
waiting at the car drop off for someone to give me a receipt, unacceptable.
When someone eventually swanned over at 7:04am, this girl said one of the
most ridiculous sick day excuses I’ve ever heard:
Girl: Sorry for the delay, my manager called me to say she couldn’t make it
in today because she was having an asthma attack”
Tristan: “she called you… and told you that she was having an asthma attack?”
Girl: “I know, right?
Well we eventually ditched the Nissan Versa and headed into check in where
we were greeted by even more characters, Pam of American Airlines…
Jack: “So with the connecting flight do we need to get our bags back?”
Ring Ring
Pam: “oh, that’s my daughter”
Pam answers phone, Tristan looks perplexed
Pam: “oh really”… (... = Pause for daughter’s comments) “Well crap!”…. “is
it still wet?”… “well put a towel on it… “yeah fold up a towel, put it on top
and then sit on it”… “yeah sit on it”… “oh yeah, then spray some Febreeze on
it”… “ok Hun, love you”
Tristan: “spillage?”
Pam: “my cat pissed on my bed again!”
Jack: “So… with the connecting flight do we need to get our bags back?”
At this stage I just want to make a couple of points:
- Don’t answer your phone whilst speaking to customers, if you think it could be an emergency then apologise, if not a emergency tell the caller to do one. NB cat piss related incidents are rarely emergencies
- Rather than folding a towel, sitting on it and spraying Febreeze on your cat piss stained bed sheets, I recommend you wash your cat piss stained bed sheets.
After all the annoyance we headed through our gate (after a 30 minute delay
of course) and find that I just have to laugh when I’m confronted with this.
I thought this was American Airlines not some amateur outfit, well anyway
we made it Miami for the second time and got on the next flight. Now for some
reason I then start getting this intence pain in the left hand side of my face,
so much so that I need to shout into a tshirt to release some tension (of course
the idiot next to me with his over the top loud music and rap-along actions
didn’t notice). The pain subsided after my mind was distracted by filling
numerous forms on arrival and getting annoyed that AA hadnt provided pens, but
despite that we did it and got to Mexico in one piece, but not before being
offered a tequilla before even picking up our luggage, I wanted to say “are you
having a laugh?!” but instead I just said "no thank you” and frowned.
After all the issues, staying awake for 32 hours and working myself into a Wobbler I wonder if it was
all worth it?
I reckon so
x
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