Sunday, 20 January 2013

Christmas, New Year & the Full Moon...



We had planned to stay in a lush apartment for Christmas to feel a bit homely and cook our own attempt at a Christmas dinner. It’s hard to describe how eating breakfast, lunch and dinner in restaurants for 5 months does get tiresome.

When we got to Koh Tao we weren’t disappointed, it was lush and was nestled high in the mountains looking over the sea and we cotched there for a few days before Christmas which was fairly standard aside from crashing a moped at an embarrassingly low speed.


When Christmas came I woke up J Bird to give him his presents, he didn’t get me anything but I didn’t expect anything so…

Here’s the moment when all of Jack’s Christmas wishes came true:


For Christmas dinner we invited these two sisters who we had met back in Vietnam and were on the island at the same time. We ate a variation of a crimbo dinner all cooked on the hob, it was a medium success followed by Only Fools and Cluedo, classic.



However, Christmas took a sour turn for me. Now, I’m going to tell you a story but it’s not a nice one. I have deleted the sisters from Facebook so they don’t have to endure the story.

I was busto for the toilet after numerous cokes and I noticed that one of the sisters was in the toilet for an exceptionally long time. When she did eventually emerge I rushed in and was immediately hit with a powerful pong. I’m not a dickhead so I’ll let a bit of smell slide, plus I’d made them the food so was partially responsible. I closed the door which was on the same wall as the toilet itself. I rounded the loo and faced it, looked down and noticed something on the bath mat position directly in front. It was a little shit nugget. I still don’t know how it would have managed to get there due to the positioning of everything. I was horrified and panicked but not wanting to be a scrooge and ruin Christmas for everyone; I folded up the mat and threw it in the shower. I didn’t mention a thing until they left 5 hours later and I informed Jack. Try and enjoy crimbo with that on your mind; knowing there's a little poo wrapped up in your shower!

Koh Phangan is the home of the Full Moon Party, it’s basically a massive beach party where people dress like mongs and drink buckets until the early hours. We were there for two of them, first on the 28th and the second for New Year ’s Eve where 60,000 people gather. To get there you would be crammed (and I mean really crammed) into the back of a pickup and some mental Thai LAD would drive like Nigel Mansell on an E as you struggle to keep the contents of your bucket inside the bucket as you endure astronomical G Forces.

Here are my video highlights of the from NYE and pics from both events:






 I returned to our bungalow after the first party but we had locked the key inside so I slept in a hammock on the porch whilst insects ate the fuck out of me; until Jack returned an hour later:

J: “Oi mate… what you doing in that hammock”

T: “Remember, we forgot the key”

J: “It’s alright I’ll go sort this out”

T: “Don’t you think I’ve already tried reception”

J: “Yeah yeah, whatever”

Jack left and returned moments later

J: “Yeah there’s no one there”

T: “I know”

J: “Let’s have a look”

We walked around the bungalow and noticed that the mosquito mesh windows looked quite flimsy, so Jack broke one and I boosted him through. LADs

Now, two full moons had come at a cost. The cost of flip flops. When we got to the beach on the first night I had brown flip flops but returned with one black and one white flip flop, this was as a result of petty theft, I think; so I stole someone else’s shoes, don't judge me.

On the second party the waves swept away the odd shoes off my feet so I borrowed some others

Later on I found one of my original flip flops.

Then after the current stolen ones got uncomfortable I stole some others, these are much better.

Anyway Koh Phangan is nice.

Before heading off to Koh Phi Phi we had a brief stay on Koh Samui, which isn’t all that. In summary I did the following there:


Stayed in a hotel run by extremely unconvincing lady boys

Dominated the pool table; destroying all comers until a polish bloke beat me and left to go smoke weed in his room while his daughter slept

Ate chicken curry on pancakes wish was surprisingly, insanely delicious

Lost my phone between eating a Subway and then eating a McDonalds across the street

Rinsed some prostitutes at Connect 4 (they probably let me win)


X


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